大作文范文四
You will have 20 minutes to plan, write and revise an essay about the topic below. Your response will be judged on how well you develop a position, organise your ideas, present supporting details, and control the elements of standard written English. You should write 200-300 words.
Travel is a necessary component of higher studies as students who travel to study have more knowledge than scholars who study locally. What is your opinion?
本篇在Youtube 另有视频讲解 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY5GYp__rm4&t=175s
Travel is a necessary component of higher studies as students who travel to study have more knowledge than scholars who study locally. What is your opinion? 开放式题型:可以改写成agree/disagree, 选一边,然后整篇文章只支持一边的论点
In contemporary society, travel for educational purposes is deemed by many to be a necessity, not a luxury. Despite the widely recognised benefits of gaining an overseas academic qualification, some people doubt the high costs associated with studying abroad can be justified. I am inclined to believe that travel adds valuable learning experience to higher education.
Obviously, the most important benefit of travel to study is broadening horizons and sharpening self-awareness. Students who study abroad will have better awareness and understanding of diverse cultures and world issues than their counterparts who are limited by the scope of their home education system. For example, the exposure to an academic community comprising local and international students will provide individuals with a wider spectrum of opinions and expertise. Therefore, we can say that travel is a key element of a quality education.
In addition, studying abroad can boost both personal and professional development. Other than providing an immersion environment for honing language skills, overseas education provides excellent opportunities for experiencing different styles of education and a specific geographic and cultural context that can enhance academic studies. For example, for the same contents that can be learned in the home country, students who study overseas can access local sources, experts and viewpoints. Ultimately, students will return from overseas education with new skills and perspectives which will be attractive to future employers.
Overall, the enormous benefits gained academically and personally from travel for higher studies will far outweigh the costs incurred. Local scholars will not enjoy the broader perspectives, personal growth and career opportunities offered by overseas education and experience. Therefore, travel is an important element of higher studies and as a combination, a key to succeeding in this globalised world.
(286 words)
In contemporary society, travel for educational purposes is deemed by many to be a necessity, not a luxury.
hook sentence,引入话题travel to study,并且替换为travel for educational purposes。
Despite 句式多样性,despite引导的一个名词性结构 the widely recognised benefits of gaining an overseas academic qualification, travel to study的又一种替换方式,从动词原型变成了动词现在分词引导的结构 some people doubt the high costs associated with studying abroad can be justified.
引入一方观点,这里要注意反方观点的语气,不要把不打算支持的观点说得有理有据,用doubt … can be justified恰到好处;这里也把反方质疑的问题具体化变成high costs,这样更容易反驳。
I am inclined to believe that 宾语从句 travel adds valuable learning experience to higher education.
明确地提出观点,并且照应到题目中前面并没有提到的的higher education(同样是简单替换过的),有时候写作文的时候要经常回顾一下题目不要漏掉一些细节。
Obviously, the most important benefit of travel to study is broadening horizons and sharpening self-awareness.
第一个分论点,好处明确给出,是broadening horizons和sharpening self-awareness,像这样地道的动词和对应宾语的搭配,值得大家见到一个就积累一个,有助于培养语感,对阅读和写作都有好处。
Students who 简短的定语从句,由关系代词who引导 study abroad will have better awareness and understanding of diverse cultures and world issues than than之后的counterparts,在内容上形成对比,形式上也使用了who引导的定语从句,保持了相对的一致性 their counterparts who are limited by the scope of their home education system.
通过一个对比的关系,证明了“better awareness和understanding”是”study abroad“带来的;travel to study的又一个替换,study abroad,这次是动词和副词的搭配。
For example, the exposure to an academic community comprising 动词现在分词作后置定语 local and international students will provide individuals with a wider spectrum of opinions and expertise.
这里是用exposure和wider spectrum对应到了分论点中的broadening horizons;还有值得一提的是,有时候for example不需要真的举很具体的例子,说理和举例的界限可以很模糊,但不妨碍你偶尔任性使用for example。
Therefore, we can say that travel is a key element of a quality education.
这里把分论点又提升了一点点,从证明它有benefit,到说它是a key element,逻辑也通畅,也更好地支持并且照应了主要论点。
In addition, studying abroad can boost both personal and professional development.
第二个分论点,明确给出了第二个理由,主要集中论述personal/ professional development,这里提醒一下大家的是,有时候不要太纠结两个论点是不是真的两个独立的论点。即便思维上两个论点可能有相关性,比如这里有些考生可能会纠结“难道broaden horizons不会增加professional development吗”,不要纠结这种,如果考试时真的想不出两个完美独立的论点,即便有些相关性,只要你论述的时候分别论述,避免把他们混为一谈,还是不会有问题的;travel to study再次简单替换,变成了动词ing形式的studying abroad这次作主语。
Other than other than引导的状语结构,后面接着动词现在分词和宾语短语 providing an immersion environment for honing language skills, overseas education又一次不同的替换,这次是彻底的名词形式provides excellent opportunities for experiencing different styles of education and a specific geographic and cultural context that 关系代词that引导的定语从句can enhance academic studies. For example, for the same contents that can be learned in the home country, students who study overseas can access local sources, experts and viewpoints.
分论点personal and professional development的具体展开,一口气提出了几个理由:honing language skills, experiencing different styles of education, a specific geographic and cultural context that can enhance academic studies 和 access local sources, experts and viewpoints。
Ultimately, students will return from overseas education with new skills and perspectives 对应到分论点中的personal and professional development,用了更具体的说法 which will be attractive to future employers. 对应professional development
Overall, the enormous benefits gained academically and personally from travel for higher studies will far outweigh the costs incurred. 总结段重述主要论点的同时,也换了一种说法来反驳反方的论点
结尾段中第一句,用简单的短语概括两个分论点段的内容,并且得出结论再次支持主要论点,回扣主题。
Local scholars will not enjoy the broader perspectives, personal growth and career opportunities offered by overseas education and experience.
一句话反驳反方观点,并且是通过自己在主体段中提出的论据来进行反驳,就方便,也有说服力了很多。
Therefore, travel is an important element 论题中necessary component 的替换 of higher studies and as a combination, a key to succeeding in this globalised world. 简单升华到succeeding in this globalised world
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